"What is wrong with me?" "Why do I feel like this?" "I'm going crazzzzy now!"
These are the words from a song called Disturbia that I like to listen to, not because of the words but because of the upbeat music. I actually have to smile when I hear those words because sometimes I am going crazy during all of this. LOL
January 12th was my 4-month anniversary! My surgery anniversary. Since my diagnosis I have been to a hospital/dr's office 30 times, been in the hospital 11 days and have had 3 surgeries. I have seen over 35 different doctors both in and out of the hospital (that includes residents and interns), I have had 2 of 4 chemo treatments, 2 treatments were discontinued because of an allergy to the chemo drugs, 2 treatments were canceled due to low white blood cell counts. My bill from the hospital for my physician charges is 10 pages long. I get at least 2-3 mailings from my insurance company daily. I have made friends with the pharmacist at Target who knows me by name. My hair has fallen out, grown back some and fallen out again. I have not shaved my legs or arms in over 2 months. I love my recliner. My eyelashes are falling out. I have tried more drugs in the past 4 months than in my whole lifetime. I have to carry a yearly pocket planner now. I have my doctors numbers programmed into my cell phone. I haven't gone to get my hair cut in months. I look forward to the mocha coffee from the coffee dispenser at the Breast Care Clinic. I now only have to wash my hair/wig every other week. I have had more needle sticks than I can count. I can now find my way around the clinical cancer center without asking. Some of the nurses at the day hospital know me by name. I have yet to wear a bra since my surgery. My head gets cold at night. I have had more stitches than I care to think about. I have 2 more surgeries to look forward to until my reconstruction is complete. I have cried, I have laughed and I have screamed!!! Crazy you say! Ahhhhhh yes, some days I can say I am!