Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Crazzzzyyyyy!

"What is wrong with me?" "Why do I feel like this?" "I'm going crazzzzy now!"

These are the words from a song called Disturbia that I like to listen to, not because of the words but because of the upbeat music. I actually have to smile when I hear those words because sometimes I am going crazy during all of this. LOL

January 12th was my 4-month anniversary! My surgery anniversary. Since my diagnosis I have been to a hospital/dr's office 30 times, been in the hospital 11 days and have had 3 surgeries. I have seen over 35 different doctors both in and out of the hospital (that includes residents and interns), I have had 2 of 4 chemo treatments, 2 treatments were discontinued because of an allergy to the chemo drugs, 2 treatments were canceled due to low white blood cell counts. My bill from the hospital for my physician charges is 10 pages long. I get at least 2-3 mailings from my insurance company daily. I have made friends with the pharmacist at Target who knows me by name. My hair has fallen out, grown back some and fallen out again. I have not shaved my legs or arms in over 2 months. I love my recliner. My eyelashes are falling out. I have tried more drugs in the past 4 months than in my whole lifetime. I have to carry a yearly pocket planner now. I have my doctors numbers programmed into my cell phone. I haven't gone to get my hair cut in months. I look forward to the mocha coffee from the coffee dispenser at the Breast Care Clinic. I now only have to wash my hair/wig every other week. I have had more needle sticks than I can count. I can now find my way around the clinical cancer center without asking. Some of the nurses at the day hospital know me by name. I have yet to wear a bra since my surgery. My head gets cold at night. I have had more stitches than I care to think about. I have 2 more surgeries to look forward to until my reconstruction is complete. I have cried, I have laughed and I have screamed!!! Crazy you say! Ahhhhhh yes, some days I can say I am!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are so funny Gail......and what an attitude you have! I think you need to write a book after this journey because I love to read your entries. I think it could be a best seller.

Anonymous said...

That was me by the way!

Sher said...

Isn't it strange when abnormal starts to feel normal?
Hang in there girl !
You have strangers (like me) hoping and praying for you daily. Who would have thunk it?
Hugs
Sher

Anonymous said...

Gail

I have been thinking about you so much lately. I could not get to sleep last night thinking about you and today. Hang in there, stay strong, many people are with you and you are never alone.

Sharon

Anonymous said...

You may think you're crazy but I think you are a wonderful example of a strong self-assured woman who has handled this crisis with such grace.

I found your blog through Jessica's and read it often.

Missy

Sara said...

Too funny. Connie and I were just talking about this kind of stuff last night. I went through my 2008 calendar recently and I was still in chemo, then on to rads. It already feels like a million years ago. I'm OK with that! lol