Beautiful Photo

Photo courtesy of my brother, Gary.
I LOVE this photo!

Just Can't seem to Get a Break in All of This!

I'm mad. I'm frustrated. I am ready to throw in the towel right now! I want to quit! I am tired of all of this, and I just seem to go from one mess to another. I went in for chemo this morning and after 15 minutes of the Taxotere running in I had a reaction. Flushed face, bright red chest, chest tightness and pain, blood pressure shot up and very lightheaded. They stopped the IV and gave me another steroid and some Benadryl, waited about 30 minutes and tried again. Same thing again with now tightness in throat and puffy eyes. They finally determined they could go not go further and discontinued the treatment. I then had to wait about an hour for the chest tightness to go away and I felt normal again. I drove myself today because the first treatment had gone so well that I didn't feel like I needed anyone there. I left about noon. I was actually mad I couldn't have the treatment. Who WANTS to have a treatment and here I am mad that I couldn't have it. I am tired of all these bumps in the road!! I just want to move forward! I need to call the oncologist Monday to see what he is going to do now. Change drugs? Try again? Who knows! What an emotional rollercoaster this has been. I am having a hard time holding myself together after today. Just what can go wrong next??? I apologize for the depressing post, but this blog is what it's all about, and this is what it's all about right now for me.
Cancer sucks!!!

On a somewhat uplifting note, John took me out to get a Christmas tree later this afternoon, and we got the biggest, fattest, tallest tree we could find. That made me a little happier. I love a big Christmast tree and last year's was kind of little.

Tommorrow is a family gathering with my niece, her husband and their adorable little baby whom we haven't seen in a few months( they live in Nashville. She is the niece who stepped in and updated my blog for me the last time I was in the hospital ) and the rest of John's family coming to our house. I am looking forward to getting together and getting my mind off of my problems.

Enjoy the weekend!

Chemo #2 tomorrow!

I had a great Thanksgiving today! We traveled to Madison to John's sisters house to celebrate. It was a nice quiet day spent with family. This year Sandy tried brining the turkey. Omgggg, it was the best turkey we have had by far. The white meat was so moist. It was delicious!!! Of course, my favorite, the stuffing was awesome! I even had a few cocktails to celebrate the holiday.

Tomorrow is round #2 of chemo. I am a bit nervous but very optimistic this time around. I will be at the Clinical Cancer Center at 8:00 and the chemo should take about 3 hours. I have a great book I am reading, and I am also taking my new favorite TV series, Mad Men. My friend Linda got me hooked on it. It is a great show if you have never seen it.

I will post later as to how it goes! I should feel 100% great for the first 3-4 days after chemo and then will start to feel the effects. With the neupogen injections, it is our goal to keep the WBC count up and keep me out of Hotel Froedert! Keep your fingers and toes crossed, and please send some prayers my body will hold up to the chemo drugs and keep me healthy this time around!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious
and your pies take the prize,
and may your Thanksgiving dinner
stay off your thighs!
-Unknown

Update on Sunny

I have had several people ask me about our dog Sunny and how she is doing. Sunny is doing great! Honestly, she is now running on all four legs with an occasional slight limp on her back leg. I have been in contact with a holistic veterinarian who is going to review her x-ray and give us advice as to how to holistically manage her condition. As of now, our vet is 86% sure that she has bone cancer. He advised a bone biopsy to make sure that is what she has. We are not going to do the bone biopsy at this time. According to the vet I just spoke with dogs that have been diagnosed with bone cancer will deteriorate rapidly within 2-3 after diagnosis. She found it very unusual that Sunny is now walking again and shows no signs of having a problem with her leg. She also found it unusual that her leg is not swollen. If indeed she has bone cancer there are some options. Amputation, chemo or holistically treat. Amputation and chemo we will not consider. If she does have cancer we want to be sure she is pain free most of all. She is perfectly happy as she is right now. I see no need to amputate her limb or put her through chemotherapy (heck, look what chemo did to my body, I can't do that to my dog). Whatever life she has left we want her live out happily just being Sunny as she is now. This vet lives in Green Bay and has referred me to a colleague who is a holistic vet in Burlington, a little closer for us to travel to. I will be in contact with him and then go from there.

Since Sunny's initial diagnosis we have been considering getting another puppy. John misses having a dog to hunt with. We do not know how much time she has left but we do know she will probably not be able to hunt any longer. Today we met with the breeder that we got Sunny from 8 years ago. Two female dogs will be expecting litters, one in January and the other in May. We met the moms today and the dad. We are hoping to get a female pup out of the litter coming in January. If not, we will get first pick of the litter in May. Either way, we have our name on the list for a new puppy!! Oh boy, here we go again.

I will never forget the first night we had Sunny. Both kids wanted to sleep with the dog next to her crate. They both got their sleeping bags and camped out in the laundry room with the new dog. Natalie lasted about 30 minutes with the dog howling in her ears. I don't even know how Billy fell asleep listening to the dog howling. The poor thing cried and cried. I woke up in the middle of the night to silence. I tiptoed out into the laundry room to find Billy asleep on his sleeping bag and no dog in the crate. The door of the crate had not been shut tightly and the little stinker had gotten out. I found her sleeping in the kitchen snuggled inside a shirt that had been left on the kitchen floor. Cute!!!

Monday

No, that is not my dog in the first photo. That was a coyote passing through my yard this morning. I just happened to be looking out the window as I saw him coming.
The snow sure was pretty this morning when I woke up. That is about all I can say about it! I am not a snow lover (I think you may have figured that out by now from previous posts LOL).
I was out of the house early today for a plastic surgery appointment and then some grocery shopping. Nothing new in the boob department. Just a check on the stitches and to make sure everything is healing. As for the grocery store, I am pretty sure that no one even noticed I was there today!

Happy Monday!