Friday, November 28, 2008

Just Can't seem to Get a Break in All of This!

I'm mad. I'm frustrated. I am ready to throw in the towel right now! I want to quit! I am tired of all of this, and I just seem to go from one mess to another. I went in for chemo this morning and after 15 minutes of the Taxotere running in I had a reaction. Flushed face, bright red chest, chest tightness and pain, blood pressure shot up and very lightheaded. They stopped the IV and gave me another steroid and some Benadryl, waited about 30 minutes and tried again. Same thing again with now tightness in throat and puffy eyes. They finally determined they could go not go further and discontinued the treatment. I then had to wait about an hour for the chest tightness to go away and I felt normal again. I drove myself today because the first treatment had gone so well that I didn't feel like I needed anyone there. I left about noon. I was actually mad I couldn't have the treatment. Who WANTS to have a treatment and here I am mad that I couldn't have it. I am tired of all these bumps in the road!! I just want to move forward! I need to call the oncologist Monday to see what he is going to do now. Change drugs? Try again? Who knows! What an emotional rollercoaster this has been. I am having a hard time holding myself together after today. Just what can go wrong next??? I apologize for the depressing post, but this blog is what it's all about, and this is what it's all about right now for me.
Cancer sucks!!!

On a somewhat uplifting note, John took me out to get a Christmas tree later this afternoon, and we got the biggest, fattest, tallest tree we could find. That made me a little happier. I love a big Christmast tree and last year's was kind of little.

Tommorrow is a family gathering with my niece, her husband and their adorable little baby whom we haven't seen in a few months( they live in Nashville. She is the niece who stepped in and updated my blog for me the last time I was in the hospital ) and the rest of John's family coming to our house. I am looking forward to getting together and getting my mind off of my problems.

Enjoy the weekend!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Gail, I can totally relate to your frustration. I have been through the same side effects from Taxotere, it is a tough one! I tried calling you when I got home from work, but you weren't available. I am at work tomorrow 11-4pm if you want to stop in! Its a great place to relax, and we could visit! Otherwise, call me sunday if you feel up to it. Hang in there! Connie

Jane said...

Gosh Gail I am so sorry to hear how rough it has been for you today. I hope that they can give you some answers on Monday and some new treatment options. Stay strong!
Jane

Netherfieldmom said...

Gail--I am so sorry to hear this. Did you take the steroid beforehand? My doc gave me a scrip for a steroid that I take for 3 days before chemo...to prep against any reaction. I am going to p/u the refill for next time, today if you want the name of it. So sorry for the struggle. Remember, this is TEMPORARY. Praying for you!

Gail said...

Netherfieldmom,
Yes I take a steroid before and after the chemo treatment as well as a premed the day of before they start the drip. This just didn't work this time!!
Ughhhhh!

Gail said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Julie said...

Hi Gail, I want you to know that you are thought about and prayed for. Hopefully Monday will bring some good news and you can move along and get through this. Just looked at the picture of you with the wig on and you look FANTASTIC. Not just good or cute....FANTASTIC.

Cindy said...

Hi Gail! I'm so sorry that you had such a horrible reaction! Hopefully they'll find a different drug soon so you don't have to extend this long journey. I don't blame you for being mad. It just doesn't seem fair. Maybe you've hit the peak on this long climb and it'll be all down hill from now on. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Cindy :)