The last two days have been pretty emotional for me. The day after Sunny died I had to be at the hospital by 7 am for another blood test to see if my white blood cell count had improved from 700 the week before. They needed to be 1500 to be able to get chemo that day. I waited until 7:35 before they even called my name. The nurse had trouble getting a vein this time (this is the first time this has happened) so 2 sticks later they finally got blood samples. By the time I went to the day hospital it was 8 am. Then finally at 9 am I got the word that my white cells were only up to 900 this week. Go home and come back next week for another try. Great! Just what I wanted to hear after dragging my butt out of bed and getting little sleep the night before because I am so sad about Sunny. I came home to an empty house and cried. My Sunny was not at the door to greet me this time. And she was not there to lay next to my computer as I did my transcription work in the afternoon. I managed to endure the day, climbed into bed at 9 pm to read, texted my friend Cathy at 10ish for a few good laughs and finally the Benadryl I took put me to sleep.
I worked this morning and am now home doing my transcription work. I hope this funk is gone by tomorrow!
3 comments:
Hello Gail; My name is Karen Boynton from Nashville, and a friend sent me your blog link when it was discovered that I too had been diagnosed with DCIS in the left breast with lobular features. My diagnosis came on 8/5/08 so I am about 2 weeks behind you in the journey. I thank you for sharing your experience and marvel at your spirit in the face of such daily challenge; you are amazingly courageous! I was compelled to write today as you grieve the loss of your Sunny, and my tears fall in tandem with yours. I pray that God will touch you in this desert place and bring peace to your troubled heart. Blessings, Karen
I am so sorry for your loss, Gail. Pets are so much a part of our lives--I can totally relate and also encourage you. Having an amazing dog is a treasure and the blessed part of it is that it can and does happen more than once in a lifetime. I think dogs have a special connection to God (thus their name) and that they are sent to teach us and love us, like He does. I have known the suffering you have today and I want you to know that Sunny would want you to think about all her great moments and qualities and smile about her. She would not be happy that you are suffering. You could name your new puppy Halo or something that reminds you of the most wonderful "Sun". Take heart and think on all the great things about your terrific companion and the blessing she has been to all of you.
P.S. I am glad your counts are coming up--albeit slowly, but they are coming up and that's great.
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